[56] // After all these months...♥♥♥

After all these months I finally decided to type up an update...

I'm horrible. I know.

If you want to keep up the happyhappy mood, I encourage you to skip over this part.

A couple of months earlier, I experienced what I would call one of the darkest times of my life. Nothing was working out and I saw, firsthand, how horrible society can be. Faith had crumbled into nothingness. It regrettably happened all in the midst of my finals and right before my graduation. I was so unhappy. I just wanted to disappear.

It's extremely stressful and difficult to deal with people who lack appreciation for simple happiness. What is simple happiness? The definition might be different for everyone but the emotion is universal.

What did I realize?

A relationship is not an investment that you watch grow; it is a gamble.
And your teammates opponents? They'll suck all your life's hard work and optimism right out from beneath you. I had to tell myself that if people kick you down and verbally abuse you, what is the point in staying?  I was holding onto nothing and nothingness was what I was fighting for. How silly right?

People hurt you; make you feel worthless. They promise you they'll change. You trust them.
Repeat a dozen times.
Repeat until the point where they, themselves, feel guilty for not keeping their promise and decide to give up altogether.

What happened to karma? I truly believed that doing good evokes good in return yet all that effort amounted to nothing.

What was the point in trying so hard in relationships?
What was the point of getting straight A's in school?
What was the point of excelling at work?

There was no point. People just take advantage of you. They call us "naive" for believing in chivalry and righteousness. What is ethics really?

That period of time really pushed me over the edge. Looking back, I was really at my lowest...I had never  felt so worthless in life. I was desperately trying to find a reason for why all this bad luck was coming to me ...and all at once too. Until one day I looked into the mirror snapped out of it. I told myself that this will indeed be the worst period of my life so that the years coming will surely be my best.

Henceforth, I ensure you, that I will not go back there again. Now that I've graduated and finally have time to blog about the brighter experiences in life. My kickass stories of how...eeer...how I kickass?? hahaha~

Maleficent inspired lips, via Bite Beauty's Pomegranate

It's time to change my blog and give myself a fresh start.
So please let me welcome you back to my journal of crazy rambles.

..... Aren't you jelly of what I have to say now?

{ Q & A }

Not to go backwards but I would like to share something that has always peaked my interest haha.

I've only been in a couple of relationships but I'll always remember the awfully weird questions I would get in the beginning. Supposedly, from their "friends". These are real questions that my s/o would ask me. Seriously.

Is your hair real?
Yes. Go ahead and pull on it. I insist.

Have you had plastic surgery before?
No. Though I wouldn't mind getting surgery but i'm too scared to go under the knife so you're stuck with my face for now haha.

We eat the same stuff but i'm getting fat & you're not. Why?
Metabolism. Science. A detox here and there.

Err friends asked, "Have you seen her without makeup? What does she look like?"
Wow. Okay. If you find me at work (which I hope you don't), most of the time I just have eyebrow liner on. I don't have acne or anything like that so i'm fairly comfortable in my skin. I usually have more time to wear makeup (glam lashes and all) on my days off which is about once or twice a week. Don't get me wrong, i'm not super pretty but I can live without makeup if that's your question. Anyways, aren't you suppose to like me for me? LOL

{Side note: I was fairly allergic to my ex bf's cat and to endure it I was on ongoing meds for the past 2 years. Now, after 3 months of healing and being away from all that my skin is finally back to normal :) Back to how I was 3 years ago~ Heeee no more allergy meds and serums!

Why don't you drive?
I'm thinking about getting my license sometime over the summer but I have had, for the longest time, a fear of driving after being in a couple of car accidents.

How much do you weigh?
Like most people, it fluctuates. Why do you ask?

Also, I would like to thank the couple of people who messaged me yesterday and today encouraging me to post. I hadn't updated in months haha so I was surprised to see this. I'm pretty sure I would've continued to be lazy and put it off until later but here I am.

Thank you thank you thank you!!!
Along with everyone that has supported me thus far~

Even though I don't have much on Lookbook I was happily surprised to find that I've reached over 12,000+ fans while I was away. Now I must make more time to doll up & go out~

{ Yum Yums }

When I eat at home, I like to cook for myself^^
For more simple home cooking photos / what I eat, I usually update my Facebook page.

{ Nuts Mag Snaps }

I hope they don't discontinue Happie Nuts... I hear Ageha and Egg were already gone Q______Q Nuts is my favorite!! Anyways here are a few snaps from a special edition of Nuts Health & Fitness ->

wow... I was surprised to find this page.... a calorie count of popular food items haha~

She eats a rough 1000kcal/day??

I don't personally believe that these funny looking exercise equipment work...but they look hilarious!

[ Drama Lama ]

A well grown daughter / A well raised daughter Hana 
잘키운 딸 하나

One of THE most underrated dramas for 2013/2014 ... 


Okay, when you first read the synopsis and realize it's a 122 episode drama you might be taken back but believe me....

it felt ever so short!

I finished the drama in less than 2 weeks. (I tried to give myself hour-long breaks when I hit episodes 80+ because I feared the drama was coming to an end. No, I'm not kidding.)

The story is just so good. Both the story and the characters are so well developed that you can't stop watching. The beginning is a bit rough as you watch the prologue of when they were little but it is also a very important period in the drama (don't skip it!) 

What is it about? 

A  famous 400 year old soy sauce company can only be inherited by the eldest son of the family. Jang Ha Na, in order to protect her family and their beliefs secretly dresses up as a boy to survive. With twists and turns through every episode, this drama will make you angry, sad, worried, ecstatic and... hanging on by a thread. Unlike other dramas where it's usually very clear which  person the lead actress ends up with ...you really don't know with this one.  /coughcough/I love Cinderella moments. Keep guessing and keep watching because you must feel the suspense that I was put through haha!!! HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. MUST WATCH. ACTUALLY, JUST STOP READING MY BLOG AND GO. SERIOUSLY. YEAH. I'M DEAD SERIOUS. 


Park Han Byul as a boy! Isn't she just so handsome as Jang Ha Na / Eun Sung ?? She's so amazingly pretty on camera! Omo... seriously I can't believe how beautiful she is. I think out of all the Korean dramas where cross-dressing occurs... hands down, she nailed it. She was always known as the girlfriend..now wife of the famous singer, Se7en but I'm sure she's made a name for herself now. My Korean friend told me she is supposedly ranked in the top 5 most beautiful people of Korea :D 

Park Byul Han with Yoon Eun Hye!! 

Remember how Yoon Eun Hye played Go Eun-Chan in The First Shop of Coffee Prince (커피프린스 1호점) ?

She had a boyish look for awhile too xD

Which reminds me. Sometimes, randomly on a full moon, when I'm browsing the net or on Instagram I magically find reeeeeeeeeeeeaaaallly old photos of myself o....f a time nearing Halloween that I dressed up as a boy with a few of my friends for fun (I borrowed my ex-bf's clothing haha). I have no idea why it's still in circulation on the net (especially since I've deleted them ALL) but there's always tags such as "asian tomboy"  etc. haha and I can't seem to own up to the fact that they're mine. 

Omo, I can't believe i'm sharing this on my blog. But I took one of my photos (stole my own photo?) off of someone else's weheartit account LOL.

>///< ;

And that would be my memorable tomboy moment haha~ Hey, at least I can coordinate right? HAHA I never thought I would actually post this on my blog hahaha....

A long while ago, I posted a photo on my FB page of what's in my bag...

I miss carrying choco pies in my bag :( I can't eat them anymore once I became gluten intorlerant /sadface/

{ Random Reads }

{ Old, New, and inbetween }

I bought these super gorgeous shoes a couple months back ....and never got the chance to wear them.... they're stuck in my closet along with a few other pairs that have yet to see sunlight "orz
Such neglect Q___Q

One of my recent favorites is Yves Saint Laurent's new Baby Doll Kiss & Blush, lips and cheeks tint. I would say it's more suited for the lips as the product is fairly creamy. I love the colours though! This one is in #7 Corail Affranchi It does require a gloss overcoat to even out the lines but it looks super adorable afterwards. It's a really natural orange tone perfect for summer ^^

I used all three of the above for lips: YSL concealer (as base), YSL Kiss & Blush #7, Chanel #164

I thought it would be nice to change up my skin routine and get a new toner (something refreshing to combat  the summer heat). I don't normally use toner so I was fairly unfamiliar with what's good in the market.

My friend recommended my Caudalie's Moisturizing Toner (Alcohol-free).
And I bought it.
And used it.
For a week.

I don't think anything happened.
It was just as refreshing as....water? If anything, my face looked a bit more rosier than usual. I think i'm just going to stop using it after another week or so @__@;

Erm, I don't think I could really give it a rating as nothing changed.

One of my longtime favorites that I've always intended to share was Shu Uemura's White Efficient skin cleanser. I reviewed the cherry blossom one back in '12 and wasn't really impressed but this one really stuck with me. 

I've been using this cleanser for about 2 years now and I just keep stocking up on it^^

It removes ALL your makeup without stripping your skin's outermost layer. It leaves skin moisturized and lovely. I can't live without it. 

How I use it
 (different from the recommended instructions)

1) Pump product onto hand and smooth over face
2) Take a cotton pad and use it as an eraser to wipe off makeup
3) Rinse face
4) Dry face
5) Pump a little bit of product and smooth over face
6) Final rinse

I swear by this method to ensure all dirt and makeup is removed ;)

Random lash haul ...
I think i'm a hoarder D:
 I should probably review some of these but then again they've probably been done a dozen times lol

Some other stuff I bought recently...

Gyda Peplum top, Dynamite collared necklace

ReseXXy ankle boots, Zara headpiece

Can you believe... I actually went back to shorten this post? It's so embarrassingly long haha so if you've made it this far go ahead and reward yourself with a drink or something LOL

Jelly Anna